Music As Therapy: How Sad Music Can Actually Help You

Author: Sarah Murray

The first time I ever listened to the song “Wish You Were Here” by Pink Floyd, I wanted to understand it. I would listen to it on repeat and try to interpret the lyrics while feeling the heavy sounds of loss and whimsical melancholy that Pink Floyd masters so well in their sound. It wasn’t until I experienced heavy loss, I turned that song on and my own interpretation came to me. The sound hit my soul even deeper.

So, so you think you can tell

Heaven from hell?

Blue skies from pain?

Can you tell a green field

From a cold steel rail?

A smile from a veil?

Do you think you can tell?

Did they get you to trade

Your heroes for ghosts?

Hot ashes for trees?

Hot air for a cool breeze?

Cold comfort for change?

Did you exchange

A walk on part in the war

For a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here

We're just two lost souls

Swimming in a fish bowl

Year after year

Running over the same old ground

What have we found?

The same old fears

Wish you were here

I think it’s about the deepest sadness a soul could feel – the depths of grief and the questioning of life's purpose. When we watch someone in pain, we see them lost in their own view of life or their own negative core beliefs about themselves. We may not be able to bring them to see the beauty around them or within them. Can they see the heaven around them? Can they notice the blue sky above them? Can they see the green field and run in it freely? Are they able to see the difference between what is real and what is not? Do they trust the smiles they receive? Do they mask their pain with a smile? 

Have you lost yourself in your pain? Are you losing someone lost in theirs? Are you choosing cold comfort for change and are you going to stay trapped in this cage of fear after fighting for so long in your internal war? 

I believe that the line “Wish You Were Here” is saying that “I wish you were here with me noticing the good around you and within you.” I wish you weren’t lost in your pain. I wish you were here in the present moment noticing that even with the pain, you can one day see the blue skies and run in the green field. You can notice your thoughts, perspective, choices and habits either blind you or empower you to look beyond your fears that create these unhealthy patterns. You can be a fish in a fishbowl or a fish in an ocean – free, fearless and inviting other fish to follow. 

Much like art therapy, music therapy, classes or even being a part of a band or ensemble can help evoke deeper emotions that language, talk therapy or our brains sometimes cannot fully connect to. Music has a powerful way of telling us how we feel when it’s hard for us to interpret it for ourselves in our own complex and challenging narratives. Sad music, movies or literature can release hormones called prolactin (which can alleviate mental pain related to the experience of loss) and oxytocin (the love hormone) which help us cope with loss or pain. They essentially console us through this endocrine system response. Sad music can also regulate our mood as it can create connection, retrieve memories, validate or re-experience, and provide comfort. While sad music can induce painful memories it also has the after effect of being transformed into more positive emotions of having a sense of nostalgia or relief. (Eerola, et. al, 2018) Music is scientifically proven to chemically and emotionally provide comfort and understanding. As for our spiritual connection to music, let’s let the music speak for itself and allow our souls to listen. It is also important to note that music and art are always there – like a friend – and it creates a deeper relationship with self. 

Live Music

Live music in particular has been proven to be another therapeutic and co-regulating experience. Live music has been proven to elicit “significantly higher and more consistent amygdala (emotional) activity” than recorded music. (Frost, et. al, 2024)  There is also more neurocognitive responsiveness to emotional regulation and a shared experience with others compared to listening to recorded music.  (Frost, et. al, 2024) There is a unique connection between musicians and the audience during live events which can create a profound connection that recorded music cannot evoke. Not to mention the connection in the crowd connecting to lyrics, storytelling and frequencies create a mass synchronization to mood through sound. Next time you’re at a show, look around you and notice the synchronization of peoples faces, movements and tone. 

Here are some sad songs you may enjoy if you’re feeling sad. I call the playlist “Cathartic Cure”